Are You Dissatisfied with Satisfaction?

I think we’ve grown addicted to stirring the pot. When things become status quo we feel bored instead of satisfied. When something absurd or contentious happens we’re entertained rather than disturbed. We’ve begun to let this addiction to chaos seep into our capacity to appreciate the mundane, the ordinary parts of our day to day. When I witness our current political sphere, for example, I can’t help but see it as allowing our addiction to reality TV — a ripe platform for stirring-the-pot opportunities — to infiltrate our lived reality. We’ve become so averse to the status quo that we perpetuate the absurd and contentious by regularly feeding it power. I think this might relate to our misinterpretation of contentment as complacency. Instead of fulfillment, we interpret steady waters as not good enough. So what’s the difference and how can we tell?

Here’s some of what I see: To feel complacent is to accept what is. To feel content is to accept what is. The distinction is that complacency is rooted in not wanting “what is” and believing there’s no way to change it. We either rest in apathy or poke the bear until enough disturbance happens that we feel that tingle of excitement again. Even if it’s not in our best interest we can’t stand to remain in boredom for too long so we plant seeds of havoc just to feel something out of the ordinary. On the other hand, contentment is rooted in neither wanting nor resisting “what is” and understanding you have a choice in the way you relate to it. You can accept all of it as it comes while remaining aware that you have the capacity to shape it and direct it. Contentment appreciates the everyday experience as a source of that same tingle of excitement while also finding satisfaction in the process of continually influencing our circumstances. This mindset offers an opportunity to feel at ease with calm rather than treating it as a symptom of “growing complacent with a bad situation”.

There are plenty of other ways to compare the two mindsets and I encourage you to spend time noticing where each one emerges in your day to day life. Next time you get into a steady groove in your life, pay attention to what comes up when you hit a so-called ordinary rhythm. Are you content with what is or are you beginning to feel the urge to make something exciting happen?